But our family is the big-time exception. Especially me, since I am, as you all know, as un-waspy as it gets. (Other than being W.A.S. and sorta P.)
My wife's ethnic origin is Swedish, or so she claims. In truth, Swedishness accounts for only 25% of her ethnic identity, but it's the part she claims as her own.
This leads to more arguments between us than you might imagine.
She's also 25% English, 25% Irish, and 25% Norwegian. In other words, 75% NON-Swedish. But for her she's 100% Swedish 24/7/365.
(Side note: She has picked up this pro-Swedish propensity from a certain matriarchal figure in her life, who is about as Swedish as she is--maybe less so, actually. A certain grandfather on her patriarchal side did, in fact, come from Sweden. So in fairness I must concede that he's as Swedish as it get--except for the fact his parents rejected Sweden. Ironically, however, my wife doesn't have her Swedishness reinforced by the one father figure with a claim to reinforce it. It's definitely the female line of the family that sustains the Swedishness of the family. A Swedishness that includes but is not limited to (i.e. completely limited to) putting cinnamon sugar on pancakes. That's cool. And yummy. But don't you think that that element Swedishness is completely negated by the fact that they also also put yogurt on their pancakes?! Gross!)
But as I was saying, her claim to be Swedish means that I can be the Italian-Jewish-African American man that I was born to be.
So there.
But back to the cookies.
We had a really nice time. My wife made the cookies, and my daughters decorated them. I decorated just one. It's shown on this blog below, but I'll let you guess which one I did.
My job wasn't to decorate but to photograph stuff. That and, consistent with my blog poll, to:
Charm them (okay, me mostly)
and
Entertain them (all of them)
and
Annoy them (all of them, though certainly some more than others)
and
Drive them bat-sh*t crazy (my wife only).
That's how I do.
But how can I help it: the Swedish are famously angry.
That's how they do.
Since this is Christmas time, it's important to keep our priorties straight. So I should point out that all of the above is meant to be good-hearted, and the truth is our family time was lovely because it resulted in the thing that matters most:
cookies.
Posts
.jpg)
11 comments:
Mo 'nonymitic observations.
Your family is creating some type of gingerbread army. A Swedish one, apparently, depending on who you ask. But for what ulterior purpose is not yet clear...
If icing were paint, a Home Depot could open in your kitchen.
If icing were paint, I doubt you would poor as much of it on the floor one spoonful at a time to get those two "dripping" shots. This is probably a good time to mention though, that I think those are nice shots.
To say Bill Russell is not as good individually as Wilt Chamberlain and therefore does not deserve one spot on the "all-time" team which has FIVE available spots on it... Well, sir, I will leave it at "I disagree."
To say self-expression cannot exist in one person (or three...) who chooses to blend in anonymaniacally with the rest of the world is... well I don't know, but it seems there should be a word created for it that means, "less apparently self-expressive than a nickname but still very clearly in the center of self-expression"...
Actually A1 is a nickname. At least as much as "horserider," which is not a nickname I would use but came to mind as an example.
And finally, that little gingerbread man with the toothpick in his heart still has a smile on his face. And it breaks my heart yall.
A1
Okay, buster! Now it's on!
Part of the whole "heritage" thang has alot to do with the fact that my last name was, for the first 23 blissful years of my life, excessively Swedish! It is now my middle name. It is still there and I am still called it. And one can't help but be called a name for 23 blissful years and get a little identification with it!
If your last name was "Schmidt", you might consider yourself German. If your last name was "O'Kelly", you might consider yourself Irish. If your last name was "Bailey", you might consider yourself a mutt of the world because you could be a number of nationalities.
So deal with it! My Grandpa came from Sweden (in a boat, no less!). I'm sorry you have no such stirring story in your relatives that you actually met and remembered in your life. I'm sorry you are 1/8 Polish, 1/8 German, 1/4 English, 1/8 Irish, 1/16 Slavic, 1/32 Austrian, 1/64 Russian, and 1/2 dorko! Move on with your freaking life!
Hugs and kisses!
anonymous--
yes, it is a swedish gingerbread army--i.e. one that could be beaten by a french gingerbread army.
lame.
i agree with you that it was exactly the right time to mention that you liked those shots. not a second too soon.
"i disagree." my comments were for others. i knew that i wouldn't be able to change your mind. (if you know what i mean.)
about the whole anonymous thing, i agree with you. especially about the need for new words. not just one, but a slew of new words. that's going to be my new resolution for 2009--every week coming up with a new word.
the dying gingerbread man. he was smiling because he'd rather go out with a toothpick to the heart rather than being torn limb by limb by munching kid (and dad) teeth.
timekeeper--
two things.
1. if i moved on with my life, what would i have left?
answer me that.
2. thanks for the hugs and kisses. mutts like those.
There was a time I suspected who timekeeper was. Then, it didn't take long until I was certain.
Now I simple know with a transcendent knowy-ness.
-signed the Weirdo Who Uses His Own Name.
An anonymous thought on timekeeper's comment.
One thing about me, I'm never one to believe in saying, "He gave 110%!" It's not mathmatically possible.
But I would allow for the possibility, at least in theory, that one could be up to a full 3/2 dorko. Also known as "dork and a half." That's twice a "three quarter dork."
That's nothing personal to anyone b/c I don't know who you people are. I'm just sayin.
Also, Merry Christmas all. Especially you my sweet dying gingerbread man who bravely took his own life to avoid The Chomper.
A1.
I must say in defense of timekeeper that the Swedish side is dominant and thus she is justified in claiming that she is
Swedish. My proof? She (and the rest of us related to her by blood) are nice. That is what Swedes are - nice and non confrontational. Thus the main male lineage falls in line with her Swedishness.
You never hear of the Swedes wanting to take over the world, do you?
Go Swedes! Be nice!
Technopraire--I think back in the 17th century Sweden conquered most of Scandinavia, Poland, about half the Holy Roman Empire and then invaded Russia.
Technoprarie,
I dunno. She called him a "dorko"--is that nice? I think not.
Although I will grant that it is nicer than trying to take over the world.
s-s spoke my mind, but i was too terrified of the tyrannical swedish impulses to bring them to light. thanks, s-s.
oh, and "dorko" ain't bad. trust me.
i will say that if someone has to take over the world, the swedes are high on my list of decent candidates.
a nice empire, theirs would be. like starbucks.
S-S: I guess you CAN push a Swede too far. But it is a rare occasion.
I'm guessing that Poland and Russia weren't being nice enough so we had to go in and show them how to be nice.
Post a Comment