This is a family portrait taken, as if you couldn't tell, by snapping a photo of the light fixture above our dining room table. As I was listening intently to my children's stories during dinner, I noticed that I could see all of our reflections in the brass ball. Naturally I thought these profound thoughts: "Oooooh, shiny!! 1-2-3-4-5 people! That's us. Shiny!"
Here's how well my kids know me. I stood up from the table and walked off, and my oldest said, "Dad's going to get his camera."
You are correct, sir.
As soon as I saw the photo, I regarded it as a funky hybrid of the following.
A little of this:
And a little of this, sans turkey and grandma. Combine the two and presto you've got a family portrait worthy of our family Christmas card this year.
I confess I have yet again broken my once-cardinal rule to not display another person's work on my post, but I thought for this one occasion my tyrannical exclusivity could be put aside for the greater good.
You're welcome.
Oh, by the way, what more proof do you need than this that Norman Rockwell was an s.o.b.?!?! Look at the size of that turkey! It must weigh twenty-five pounds. And do you know how long it takes to paint something like that? Days! Good grief. Think of that poor old lady, with the old man standing there doing absolutely nothing but posing like the patriarch that he is, bent over at that angle holding that huge bird on a platter for hour after hour! Why, it makes me steaming mad just thinking of it. Oh, and look at the posture of everyone at the table. It's as though Rockwell took a ribbon or thread, laced the people together like a shoe, and yanked! They're not leaning forward to hear some one person tell a joke or story. They're all looking in different directions; they've clearly been yoked together. He probably said he would release them only if they looked cheery, and boy did they bust out some big smiles.
What. A. JERK!
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8 comments:
The family looks jolly enough to pull this off. If you'd put on a tie (do you have one?) and invite your little neighbor lady over it would be hard to tell art from life.
if you look closer, you'll see i'm the only person with a plate. honestly i can't explain that. was i the only good boy or girl? did i come home late, grab a plate, and require the family to sit around me and entertain me while i ate? do i need a head start before everyone else gets a chance? or what?
memory, you have failed me yet again.
Another rule broken with this post, as it is the first with your wife in it, yes?
And btw, this:
Here's how well my kids know me. I stood up from the table and walked off, and my oldest said, "Dad's going to get his camera."
is utterly classic.
first picture of my wife? one of the first. she may be in a couple more but just like this. sort of unrecognizable. one must have ethos, you know.
and as for that comment being "classic," that's true if by classic you mean "pathetic."
but thanks for the posts, my friend.
I really like Norman Rockwell. Did he take that photo in the light fixture? Was it on Thanksgiving also?
Anonymous--
You like the "Rock," eh? Yeah, you're probably crazy for Thomas Kincaid, too, huh?
Yep. That was The Rock who took that photo.
I've never read Kincaid.
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