Tuesday, November 24, 2009

NOT a weird freaky hand (with ring) reaching for the sky

This is a photo of a most excellent hand (with ring) reaching for the sky. It belongs a most excellent man, Mr. Donald Lindholm, softball slugger (and right fielder) and overall fantastic man extraordinaire. But here's the thing. This photo simly blows!! It blows for three reasons.

1. It's all fuzzy, out of focus, and without color. (Technically, that's two reasons; out of focus and fuzzy are kind of the same.)
2. It doesn't even say anything about it being Don's hand.
3. If Don were to show this photo to his softball buddies, they'd just make fun of him (a) for his fuzzy colorless hand, and (b) for the fact his youngest daughter married a loser like me.

This is all most unfortunate. So let's do something to correct as much of it as we can. The photo below can't unmarry his daughter from me, and it doesn't make me any less a loser, but it is clear, in color, and does specify whose hand it is. I think his softball friends would remain proud of Don were they to see this photo below.

I know I am. I'm a lucky guy to have him as my father-in-law.

Fo sho!


justcurious said...

Wait a minute... is this me trying to "raise the roof?" It's not nice to make fun of the handicapped, you know.

Michael B said...

No, this blows you away at raising the roof.

How did you make it to adulthood, freako?

justcurious said...

Could I please speak with the luxuriantly dark haired man?

Anonymous said...

As one of Don's teammates, I think I need to step up to the plate here and get a little something off my chest. Believe me, I've heard a LOT about this blogging son-in-law of Don’s. But only from his wife. Frankly, frankly Don don't like to mention him, far less talk about him.

And now that I see this dumbass picture, I don't blame him one bit. You know, you can't account for a daughter's taste in a man, and sometimes they just have to suffer there by their side, right there along with. Poor girl. Maybe she’ll get lucky and he has clogged arteries.

Anyway this whippersnapper blogger boy isn't worthy to be our bat boy, Don. Don't take no crap from him.

We had a name for blog boys like him when I was growing up, and believe you me, this family-friendly blog ain't no place to be bustin' out those names right now. "Nancy" gives you a clue of the kind of thing we mighta called him when we was feeling especially friendly.

Don, forget the picture. Your hand's a man's hand! All those bends in the road there are due to living life! Unlike that little blog boy's hands. Probably as soft as a rabbit's backside.

Makes me sick the more I think about it.

timekeeper said...

Man, my dad has some mean spirited friends. I'd hate to be the opposing geezer softball team. You have been told off!

Michael B said...

Yeah, if I met that guy I'd show him all right. I'd shake his cracked and calloused hand for a really long time until he thought to himself, "hmmm...boy, his hand really does feel nice." Then I'd walk away and leave him to his tormented thoughts.

Yes, this is what I'd do. Either that or just not make eye-contact.

Michael B said...

Oh, and Justcurious: I understand you want to speak with the one with the luxuriantly dark hair?

That would be me.

justcurious said...

Friends, Timekeeper's relatives, I'd like to step in here and Don the cloak (haha) of innocence. The aforementioned "handicapped" referred to my inability to bend my hands backwards. Don't ask, just know that the kids managed to escape this fate worse than... being married to a blogger.

Anonymous said...

Don? What the heck is all this you've gotten tangled up in?? Who is this moron and what is this crazy photo all about?


Anonymous said...

My own rule is, these man-hands touch nothing but my beer, my lady's skin, my glove, and softballs.

OBVIOUSLY not the case for folks outside of Texas.


Anonymous said...

And I'm very sorry, but "he's just my son in law" won't cut it. Right, just like Manson was just another crazy...

--El Capitano again

Anonymous said...

When I first saw this website, I thought it was some kind of Maplethorpe throwback or tribute site. Really weird, freaky, unspeakable stuff. Then I saw this latest picture posted, with your hands in it, Don, and I wondered where I had gone wrong.

I never thought I would find myself saying this... But you're off the team.

--El Capitano

Anonymous said...

In this world, we find three things: those who lead; those who follow; and those who kick the butt of their nutty son in law when he even remotely SUGGESTS, "can I take an artsy photo of your hand"?

Be, number 3, Don. Be number 3.


Anonymous said...

Yes, please! Kick his butt!! Squarely and surely!!

--sign me, "mimekeeper"

Anonymous said...

Don I'm very sorry to have to borrow an old softball joke here, but it seems fitting.

This son in law of yours -- sounds like he's a real athletic supporter. If you know what I mean.


Anonymous said...

Not only that, 3B, but more like a fuzzy, out of focus, black and white, government funded, hand loving, geeby, manky, then colorized and titled, athletic supporter.

Wearing a dress.


Anonymous said...

Who's on first?

Don's creepy hand.

What's on second, photographing it?

Some guy who is now running for the parking lot, while we chase him.


Anonymous said...

The internet is forever, Don... the internet is forever.

Son in laws, however, are fleeting and can be divorced.

Did you know, and this is a little known fact -- a father in law can actually file papers to cause the court to order his daughter to divorce his son in law? But it has to be for some really, really weird stuff going on.

Well Don, you've got 8 of us here who would testify for you, that you've managed to land yourself right there in the middle of Weird City, and that you're apparently staying with the Mayor himself.


Steven Taylor said...

They have medications these days that will stop the voices.

Just in case you didn't know...