As you all know, Claudia was a Cool Cat right from the start, and I was forever trying to earn from her the Cool Cat Certificate of Coolness. Or at least the Cool Cat Certificate of Approval. Or I would have even settled for the Cool Cat Certificate of "I know who you are and know your name."
She has absolutely no recollection of this.
None.
Zero.
Because that's how the cool cats at the pinnacle of the inner circle roll (to mix four metaphors). In the economy of coolness, cool cats are universally noted but get to note others selectively.
I do recall that Claudia worked at Penny Lane records. In comparison to my peers I was far far more knowledgeable about classical music, and I decided to impress Claudia with my classical music savvy at one of my (many many many) visits to the store. Perhaps I could leverage this to win the Certificate of Acknowledgement. As Andy D will attest, at this stage of my life I was intensely (and profoundly unhealthily) enchanted by (obsessed with) the music of Mahler, and I definitely should have taken the Mahler conversational route with Claudia to establish my classical credentials. So very regrettably, I did not choose this path. Instead, I panicked. Pachelbel's Canon in D was being played over the store's sound system, and I immediately identified it to Claudia and--tragically---told her how lovely the piece was.
Her response?
"Ah yes, the Taco Bell Canon! Is this not the MOST overplayed piece of music EVER?! SO trite!!! I am SICK to death of this piece; if I hear it even one more time in a commercial or movie I think I'm going to get sick." And then she made the universal gagging gesture.
To which I just kind of smiled meekly and slunk away.
Stupid stupid Pachelbel!
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11 comments:
I have absolutely no memory of this or of being the cool cat either. Band chick, yes. Cool, not so much. However, I am 100% sure that I would have made a gagging gesture about the Taco Bell Canon. Absolutely.
I seem to remember you, MB as being cooler than you claim to have been. You try to come off as all shucks and nerdy but you had (still have, obviously) a great sense of humor and witty conversation....even in dreaded high school. That was rare.
Oh, and what MB isn't telling you, humble as he is, is that I saw this very blog listed on another favorite blog by a reader when asked "what 3 blogs do you look forward to reading everyday." Yes, Eyeball Central was right there. Cool beans.
Pretty cool to get a post here. This must be how AD feels all the time!
Poor Taco Bell.
Actually, this reminds me of a story.
Back when my wife and I were first dating (back when VHSes were cool and commies still ruled half the planet), we had the following conversation:
Me (trying to sound cool or smart or just trying in my teen-awkwardness to find something to talk about asked, because my father-in-law was then waaay into classic music): "Does your Dad have Pachelbel's Canon?"
She said: "I don't know what kind of camera he has."
Boy I hope this Pennylane episode was BEFORE I walked down the aisle to Pachabel's Canon at my wedding....
Okay, I must be losing it...I played at your wedding but don't remember Pachelbel's canon. Old age setting in fast. Not so cool anymore.
Didn't I play at your wedding? Or am I making that up? Geez....
Yes, Claudia, you did play at my wedding. I walked up the aisle to Pachabel. And walked down to the Trumpet Voluntary I think. You played as the guests were being seated.
Sorry for my delayed comments here, I typed them out at a baseball game on Saturday but then my phone took a call, and they deleted before I could post them!
Claudia -- I have no doubt this occurred exactly as Mike recalled. And yes, you were the cool band chick who worked at the cool record shop!
MB -- well done on this post.
Steven -- love that story! But actually love the Taco Bell line even better. PS -- sometime Mike or I will have to tell you about the very confusing conversation we had with a high school mate one time, where he said to us very confusingly, "Last weekend I stole the taco bell." It took us a day to unravel that one.
MB -- where the heck is the Leon video and post dammit.
A.
MB, question about your mixed metafour (mixed metaphor times four...) --
In mathematical terms, isn't it true that a circle can't have "a" pinnacle? Geometrically, every point on a circle is "higher" than every other point, relative to itself, because all the other points curve away/drop off... So contrary to my original take which was "a circle don't have no pinnacle," in reality I need to instead blast you by saying, "a circle has an infinite number of pinnacles."
Enough jibber jabber. I'm right, right? Fo'?
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