and the grand prize...

doesn't go to this piece of crap photo.

but i'm pressed for time, and so i just slapped up the first photo i found on my C-drive. fine, that's a lie, but i did i panic a little bit. however, were i to have any time, what i'd be tempted to do is post is political commentary. but i can't do that though my loyal readership burns in yearning for it.

but to post political commentary would violate the integrity, the internal ethic of my blog.

and let me be clear about something, and i'm addressing this directly to a particular someone i "deal with" in my physical world, not just in this superior virtual world. this is a blog. "eyeball central" is not a "phlog," damn it. true, it has right-brain material, but it also has left-brain material, and a lot of it. the perfect amount of left-brain material for a blog.

as evidenced by this very post, thank you very much. because when my left-brain speaks, baby, it shouts.

which takes me to the big lebowski. remember john goodman's character, surely the best character he's ever played and one of the funniest characters ever put on film?

surely you do. tell me that you do. and if haven't seen the movie, i'm going to count to ten slowly and calm myself down. and if you have seen the movie and didn't enjoy it or, worse, you didn't appreciate his character, then i dare you to let me know. because then we're going to have a little chat right here on this blog. and by "chat" i mean i'll speak and you'll get schooled.

but as i was saying, goodman's character says, "I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos."

and one might say the same about this blog. say what you will about it, but it reflects an ethic all right. a complicated and comprehensive and extraordinarily compelling ethic. for example, i don't do (a lot) of political commentary except through snarky polls--and snarkiness has is its own non-political ethic all to its own. i post very few "look straight-forward look at the camera and smile" photos. no, i have my subjects look away and look pained. as well they should. and i also don't use my kids' names. and apparently they don't have a mother if one were to judge by the photos. he or she may exist (i'm not going to give away her gender) but if he does then sadly she's invisible. either that or she's a vampire and i take all my photos using a mirror. and i don't make mention of my town. and don't try to make me! i won't do it, so back down, fool! and i don't freakin' foist zucchini on people who don't want it. or even on those who do, unless it's zucchini i've been given recently by yet another well-meaning amateur gardener who thinks a good garden is one part lettuce, twelve parts overripe wormy tomatoes and eighty-seven freakin' parts zucchini. (listen, yo: just stop planting the stuff and it'll grow back next year on its own. yet another thing it shares in common with poison ivy.) and i own a tv and if i didn't i wouldn't spend half my day bragging about it like the non-tv owning people do. oh, for the love of humanity, get a dang tv or get a hobby, why don't you, instead of wandering the earth like lost banshees in search of people to boast to about how you don't own a tv. and i like photos eyeballs and hands (blue or otherwise). and bees.

and eyeballs.

and if that's not an ethic, then i don't know what is.

oh, and by the way, if you don't like the beatles, you're dead to me. but that's just common sense right there.

like i was saying, i'll get some other photos up there soon.