Friday, April 30, 2010

Back to the bean, baby! (AKA "beanstalkering")


justcurious said...

In your top reflection you've got a Harrison Ford vibe going. It must be a magic bean!

Anonymous said...

If I were Oprah, the second photograph would be one of my annual Favorite Things.

Every year.

Mike Bailey said...

justcurious: I take that to be a positive thing, yo. So thanks! Two Harrison Ford vibes, or one? And if so, which image is vibe-ier?

Anonymous: If that's you punking me, Andy D, there will be revenge.

Andy D. said...

No that's not me! Just a poor confused soul, not knowing that warm compliments like those only subject us all to (a) more self-portraits, and (b) more o tha bean.

So we know it's not timekeeper, either! Word, Bean hater.

I do like all these newly posted photos. Let me simply observe - you got dressed up to go to the dang bean?

You were in the wonderful Second City, had the world at your doorstep - and you put on a nice suit, and went straight to the dang bean.

It's remniscent of Al Pacino, when he puts on his finest uniform on his big NYC trip in Scent of a Woman..... Only you went to tha dang bean. And weren't Chris O'Donnell or nobody else there to save you.

Or us.

Mike Bailey said...

Andy--My response to all that? I'm glad you ain't Anonymous. And allow me to further respond to Anonymous who, frankly, had far more interesting (and compelling) things to say to my readers than you did.

Anonymous, why thank you! I'm glad you're pro-Bean, pro-Bean photos, and pro-Bailey-self-portaits-in-the-bean. Pleasing, all.

Oh, one last thing, Anonymous. When Andy D refers to Chris O'Donnell so positively, don't you think that's because he probably loved him as Robin? And maybe even fantasizes himself as being Robin? Cuz that's what I'm thiking.

Andy D. said...

YOU LEAVE ROBIN OUT OF THIS!!! He's not called the boy wonder for nothing!!

Robin, not Chris O'Donnell....

Words like honor, loyalty, commitment... Those mean nothing, so long as you can call yourself "a Baird man"....

Oh hello. Where am I? Was having a Pacino-O'Donnell movie confusion crossover moment.

Look - you're avoiding the question, Dog. You jes esplain to us, who puts on a suit to go see the bean?

A bean nut, that's who.

Where's my backup on all this!!?? TK come on, he's down, unload on him!! And anonymous, you just back away real slow like, and stay outta this... This bean beatdown's been a long time coming.


Mike Bailey said...

Hey Robin--

No one tells Anonymous (or at least the particular anonymous who wrote that last comment) to back out of this!

the real question is this: why do you hate art and disrespect it so? Cuz the bean is art, my friend.

The sculptor is Kanish Kapoor, my friend, and the name of the bean is Cloud Gate. Kapoor just installed a new piece at the Guggenheim.

He's the....well, you know what he is. I'll put it this way: the "stuff."

shinigami-sidhe said...

I can't say I care much about this bean thing, but there is a serious dearth of well-dressed men in the world. Those who defy the trend need our encouragement.

So carry on, suit-clad eyeball person, carry on.

Mike Bailey said...

S-S: Word.

Steven Taylor said...

Of course, Harrison Ford is almost 70.

Just sayin'.

(Nice shots, btw).

justcurious said...

Now ST, that was not the iteration of which I was speaking, but nonetheless, ask your wife what she thinks of HF, even at 70. Go ahead, I'll wait...

Andy D. said...

Dear Riddler,

it is exactly my love of and respect for art, which has pointed my bat-sights at bean lovers. And at bean lover lovers. I'm not talking about those with a healthy admiration of beans. Like moi. And I'm not talking about mere bean tolerators. Like TK. Or more precisely, bean lover tolerators like TK. Apparently. From the silence.

I'm talkin about good old fashioned jack in the beanstalkering beanie weenies. Bean nuts. Drinkers of the bean Kool aid, and the bigger the bean, the harder to cover up the bean loving numbnuttery.

So what we got us here is the all-time greatest bean nut magnet in the history of the world. And my how they did come.


Mike Bailey said...

Yo ST--What JC said. Boom.

Mike Bailey said...

Andy D--

that rant, my friend, is a textbook expression of some serious bean envy.

you be in denial.

justcurious said...

would that be the beanest envy?

Mike Bailey said...

JC--sumpin' like that, though it's nothing I like to think about.

timekeeper said...

Andy, you, my friend, have read the situation all wrong. All wrong. My silence was not due to a Bean-induced hatred. Quite the contrary. I was silent because I spent the weekend alternating between being sick in bed and standing in the bathroom watching my child be sick. But the silence must be broken now. Our fragile health be damned! I drank the Bean Kool Aid in 2005 and have adored it ever since. If this blog became Bean Central, I would be thrilled. So bring on lots more photos you well-dressed, Bean loving, hunk of a man!

Mike Bailey said...

TK FTW!!!!!

Andy D. said...

Well if that isn't the all time kick in the teeth!

Curses, you sickness that has infected TK's stomach and better judgment!! Curses, bean boy!!

I'll be back!!


Andy D. said...

PS - Anonymous - I stand corrected. Welcome back.


Claudia said...

Love the bean!

I'm thinking that perhaps you have inspired a new project along the lines of "Flat Stanley"....people from far and wide can flock to the bean in their finery and take odd angled head shots. Then they can post them on some fantastic bean website - not unlike this one - for all to see.

I'm liking this idea. Might have to plan a summer trip to the Bean....

Anonymous said...

First of all--Keanu Reeves was in a movie with Al Pacino, too. At least Keanu Reeves has a schtik. A vibe. A niche.

Which Chris O'Donnell does not.

If Andy D is emulating Chris O'Donnell...he's doing a damn fine job.

Secondly--Self-portraiture is the art of the gods.
It is the ultimate form of self expression. It makes fan girls very happy.

Chris O'Donnell does not.

Andy D. said...

Ah. I'm just thinking through this. If self-portraiture is the ultimate form of artistic expression.... Then, self-identity is surely the building block of that ultimate art form.... And so... Anonymity might leave us, where, exactly, on that ultimate canvas....

Of course I say that, and I've been masquerading as Robin! Touché. Welcome to the fold, Anonymous 3!


Mike Bailey said...

Andy D.--What you're saying is surely very logical, though I didn't personally understand a word of it. However, what I *did* understand fully (and appreciate fully-er) was that comment that said, "If I were Oprah, the second photograph would be one of my annual Favorite Things. Every year." Remember that one? That one makes sense. That's a very fine model to follow when posting comments.

Just sayin'.

Andy D. said...

"Vanity, thy name is Bailey, and the bean (mirror) thine world."...

Mike Bailey said...


Anonymous said...

I have a theory.
The self portraits are capturing the duality that exists in you. There is some part of you that realizes there are hours of time you can not account for, so you must be operating as a totally different person at times. The personality you captured in the reflection of the bean is this "Anonymous", Oprah loving writer.
Just a theory.....but,pretty sure I'm right.

Anonymous said...

If a soul touches this finite world, for the glimmer of a spark that is a lifetime, and is given no name--is not identified by the construct of an arrangement of letters or of numbers or of strung together sounds, grunts--is it any less energy? Is its perceivable image any less a finial of human representation against the backdrop that does not breathe, and does not feel, but decays just the same?

I will not be out nonsensicaled, Andy D. Not within this hallowed hall of the cybersphere.

Post script: There was an article in Parade magazine recently (NOT a cover story) about Robin embracing life in suburbia on the outskirts of Philidelphia with Wonder Woman's lame-o blond-headed sister by his side. "If my life has taught me anything," Robin told the journalism intern that drew the short end of the stick for this one, "it's that alcoholism is not a disease, but a means by which to live." When asked if he attributed his sterility to the alcohol, Robin replied, "Nah. That's all me."

The Bean, and its suit-clad pilgrims, has a giant posse.

It was sleeping.

You have awakened it.

Julie said...

Oh No!!!! The last comment listed as "Anonymous" was not intended to be. I (Julie) am the reader with the duality theory...the anonymity was an accident. (I was on a different computer) I AM NOT the first three "Anonymous" writers. Total accident, and not good timing for such a thing to happen! I am quite proud of my hiding here. PLEASE, LET ME REPEAT...I AM NOT THE OPRAH PERSON... I thought maybe, just maybe, you are... This mistake of identity has ruined me.

Andy D. said...


Well this is an excellent post. Now the thing you need to know about me is, I love excellent arguments the most. And of course, I normally keep going, to try to win them. :) Yes, even on an unanswerable point. So here goes.

Your response is poetic, and in that way much better than mine. But -- I think flawed.

The premise (which is beautifully phrased! wow!) is along the lines of, "all souls are equally worthwhile even if they have no name or other identity." Well with that, altruistic as it is, I must disagree.

Individuality plays a HUGE role in the "worth" of a life. No? Consider --

++remember The Borg, on Star Trek? They all were carbon copies of one another?... Not worthy. That was the whole point of the show, "avoid becoming part of the Borg." Or so I've heard... I don't watch that show of course. Well maybe I saw a little of that one episode...

++I don't know anyone in the history of the world, born since 1945, who has been named "Adolph Hitler." I suspect that's because people realize a name isn't just a random combination of letters, as you suggest, but because a name becomes part of and shapes the personality, and therefore defines part of the worth.

++Is an unnamed soul "any less of a finial of human representation" -- you're darn right it is!! :) Didn't you yourself just post a clear message, to make certain certain certain, and I mean certain, in all capital letters, that we all knew it was you writing, and not a true anonymous?... ?


Oh -- I think the image of the bean posse is awesome! You won't mind, I hope, if I refer to those in the bean posse as "pods"? Pods who have been awakened -- i.e., summoned -- to come serve their dark master. Certainly not like the pods in the Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Nope, not like that at all!! :)

Although the borg-like bean pods are a fitting nod to our discussion here, yeah?

Note to A3 -- don't let this nonsense run you off! Keep posting.


Anonymous said...

Cylon Centurions pwn the Borg.

I, like Professor Mikey, am so consumed by finals that all my poor brain could fork through and find in what I'm sure was a brilliant reply was a reference to the Borg.

I will return.

To sustain you until then, Andy D (whose bromance with our leader is not facebook official apparently, what what?) consider this: Why is it so difficult for many to believe that the same force of human thought that manifested the Holocaust (you brought it up) could also manifest the streets of gold that so many billions have s-p-e-c-i-f-i-c-a-l-l-y and in great detail expected to find waiting?

Quantum-physics-word to your mother.

justcurious said...

Well my goodness, Anonymous, of course you won't find Andy D on fb -- I've come to believe he's actually a delightful figment of our collective imaginations. We project, he reflects and magnifies. We're funny, he's funnier. We're smart, he's smartier. k? So, now you know, you can proceed with your argument.