This is a picture of my good friend Stephen Donaldson. He was also (allegedly) my student worker for, I believe, some seven or eight years of his undergraduate ….“experience.” Stephen is the all-time reigning champion of the office battle, though my guess is he never once received more points than Diane Land. But he won on a technicality—he is a tremendous mimic and can make excellent noises. Also, like Strom Thurmond demonstrated, longevity has its own rewards. Stephen also does a "killer" impression of a bubonic plague victim. Ah, good times. Now admittedly that’s not the only reason I love him. But…I won’t lie, it’s pretty important. Note this picture. Stephen is shooting me, his “boss,” with a nerf bullet. Now I’m not saying I didn’t ask him to do it, but COME ON, who actually honors such a request?! Especially since he had already blinded me in one eye! And note the bullet in mid-air directly above his nose. This is the picture that once-and-for all demonstrated to me that I missed my calling as a war photojournalist. And that Stephen missed his calling as a soldier in the nerf wars.
I’m just saying….
Posts
.jpg)
9 comments:
Oooookaaaay, let's just calm down. Dr. Bailey, let's not get carried away. You and I both know that I was the "all-time office battle champion" by a landslide.
arezoo,
i am a truth guy. (except when i'm sarcastic. or ironic. or lying. or when I'm NOT being a truth guy.) And I must say your claim is just...probably not true.
probably.
and i stand by that claim.
I distinctly remember receiving infinity points. Would that not makest me the all time office battle champion?
The Son of Man is the "Beyond-Space-and-Time" Office (and outside the office) Battle Champion.
What are the rules on the board? I can't quite make them out.
turns out this picture is misleading. office battle has nothing to do with what stephen is doing. points are given to people who earn them, and only my office worker and i can award points. points may be earned for anything...such as, for example, thinking of a clever one-liner, or doing something very brave. but more often than not one got them for a clever "snap," usually with me as the victim. anyhoos, the only rules are that we and we alone get to dispense the points. others may make suggestions, but they cannot EVER touch the chalk. one of my colleagues wrote her own name on the board and gave herself a point. extremely bad form. we had to ban her from ever getting a point. so the rules are:
Rule 1: E. Kaufer banned henceforth.
Rule 2: Rule 1 may NEVER be amended
Rule 3: It's coming
rule 3 is a warning for others who might make the mistake e. kaufer did.
so...one easter we gave son of man an infinite number of points. that explains the comment two above yours.
i'm a ridiculous excuse for a human being.
you could also attain a point for doing impersonations of students who liked dragons; walking like you had funny (and cripling) diseases; stellar commorant calls; a great frisbee golf shot; and being awarded teacher of the year.
**Based on the previous examples, I am not sure how the "teacher of the year" award ever came into play, but it did...over an over again.
btw, I have no idea what that note above even means.
Twisted. And sick.
and wrong.
glory days....
Your pictures are sweet, but I like the crazy posts better.
Post a Comment